Christian fiction & non fiction books
Inspired by Jesus
Hi, I'm Avlon and I'm a Christian author. I think people sometimes get the idea that Christian books are like Sunday family movies. My books aren't like that. Life can be painful sometimes. Addictions, poverty, crimes, abuse and death. All of these things are part of life. I go there in my books. They are raw and brutally honest. I have also tried to open the window between heaven, earth and hell, so we can understand that even in the messiest of circumstances, Jesus really is always there.!
The Bruised Reed
This book is written from the perspective of an angel. His name is Joel, and he works for God. Inside these pages, Joel takes us on a journey. He sees our world and the unseen world simultaneously, so we get to experience what he observes when we die.
Here, There & Everywhere - the boy with the gifted eyes
Paul sees people inside out. Not in a gross way. He can see the good and bad in people before he sees what they look like. Obviously, this changes the way he lives and experiences people. Wouldn't it be interesting if we all had Paul's gifted eyes?
Down To the Top
This is a true story. A real person. He was a drug addict and dealer. He was violent. He was a womaniser. Inside the pages of this book, you can walk in his shoes. You can step inside his crazy life and see it through his eyes. The best part is that you can experience how and why he walked away and left it all behind.
Here, There & Everywhere - the boy who hears the shadows
**Paul sees people inside out. Not in a gross way 🙂 He can see the good and bad in people before he sees what they look like. Obviously, this changes the way he lives and experiences people. Wouldn't it be interesting if we all had Paul's gifted eyes? **
The Years the Locusts Have Stolen
**How do you become a heroin addict? What must happen in your life for you to want to numb the pain that badly? What does it feel like to OD and die then come back from the dead? **
Here, There & Everywhere - the man who saw the future
In this third and final book of the trilogy, Paul lives through the rapture. He gets to see what happens to the people left behind on earth and what happened to those who disappeared.
The Thread That Binds
Death can be so devastating. It's like watching a helium-filled balloon slip out of a child's hand and float away. There is nothing you can do to get it back; it just keeps floating further and further away until it's gone.
Here, There & Everywhere - Trilogy
This is the Here There and Everywhere Trilogy. All 3 books are published into a single book for your convenience.
We get to journey with Paul between life and the afterlife. We get to learn about our purpose on this earth and see what happens when we die.
I Will Walk in Freedom
**Mac spent 15 years in federal prison in America. When he went in, he was a kid who didn't even realise the gravity of what he had done. Inside this book, you can feel what it's like to be a naive kid in federal prison. You can also see what 15 ears in a place like that will do to you. **
Convinced
This book is based on a true story. Brett was removed from his unstable family and institutionalised. He suffered terrible emotional and physical abuse in that institution. You'd think that would be enough of a load for one person. But it didn't stop there. It was almost like the bad stuff just followed him around and refused to give him a break.
Where Darkness isn't Dark
There are times that we overthink and complicate life way too much. Sometimes we just need to let go of the negative and plug in to the positive. We just have to figure out how to put the load down and carry on walking.
God's Ice-cream
On any given day the streets are busy with the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Too many cars causing angry frustrated road-rage. People packed like sardines at the pedestrian crossing focused on where they need to go. Overpopulated to the point you could smell the sweat on the sardine next to you, and if you are lucky maybe you'd get a whiff of perfume. Beggars and homeless searching through trash cans for a desperate meal. This is a normal day in the pulsating energy of city life. Until...Everyone went home. Even the homeless went home. The streets became eerie and the silence screamed. Not a single car. Not a single person. Just a lone bird flapping off in freedom. Overnight the entire world became a ghost town. Who or what has enough power to send the entire world home?
Living in the Unseen World
I think in some ways we are all aware that there is an unseen world that exists simultaneously with ours. So the question is not whether it exists or not. But rather, how much does it affect our lives? Does our personal belief system affect these unseen forces? Or is it all pretty much out of our hands?
Yellow Banana
This is a children's book about a fictional charcter called Yellow Banana. The book aims to teach children about some adult themes that are often difficult to approach, for e.g. bullying and divorce.
Bronsky the Bat
Bronsky is a sweet little bat who has amnesia. A very helpful elephant told him he was a bird. Isn't that absurd?
Extract from The Bruised Reed...The wormhole began to open up. Boy, was he happy about that! He felt like he was finally getting somewhere. But when he got to the end and saw the abyss, all he wanted to do was reverse and get back in the wormhole as fast as he could.It was the most horrific thing imaginable. He couldn't find any earthly words for it. Desperation and despair were in that abyss. It was a black hole of emptiness. A place of nothingness. Of desperate nothingness.The light was so far away and he could not cross this gulf to reach it. He felt that if the abyss touched him, it would consume him. It would drink him in and he would become part of it. He would never be able to get away. He was terrified. he didn't want to dissipate into desperate nothingness."What‘s this place?" He screamed to the light."It's where I am not." The light spoke into his mind. His ears didn‘t hear the light. His mind did."What's going on? I don't understand." He screamed again. He was completely desperate to get out of there. he just wanted this terrible thing to be over. He wanted to go home.This time the light didn‘t talk into his mind. It just gave him knowledge."NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Steve began to struggle frantically. He had to get out of there. This could not be true."How can I be dead? This is not dead! When I die I become one with the universe. I become part of the wind and the rain. I blend into nature and my energy exists for all time."The light spoke into his mind again, "I created the universe, if you don't belong to me you cannot be where I am. I am in the trees and in the wind and in the rain. My breath is in all of the universe. My Word created it therefore I am in it. I am in the stars when you look at the sky at night. It's all me. But you rejected me, so you cannot be where I am."This time Steve did not scream, he whispered with a terrified little voice, "Is this abyss where you are not?""I am light. I am peace. I am joy. I am hope. I am dreams. I am goodness. I am kindness. I am tolerance. I am mercy. I am tenderness. I am compassion. I am creativity. I am contentment. I am dependability. I am forgiveness. I am generosity. I am graciousness. I am loyalty. I am patience. I am security. I am self-control. I am thoughtfulness. I am truthfulness. I am sincerity. I am love. I am all these things and so much more. I AM!"Steve was beginning to feel an overpowering sense of doom, "So this is where all of those things are not? This is where you are not? But you can't send me here! I‘m kind! I‘m a good person! I don't belong in there!"The light spoke with finality this time, "As long as you are in the universe I created, all of my qualities are available to you. I send rain for good and evil alike. But if you take from my goodness and you reject me. Once you leave the earth, it‘s no longer available to you."
Extract from Here, There & Everywhere - the boy with the gifted eyes...“Friend,” I said, “why don’t they know?”“Most of them do know,” he said, “they just don’t believe it.”“But why wouldn’t they believe it?” I asked“Well, it’s simple really,” he answered, “they cannot believe what they cannot see.”“But then how can they believe in air, you can’t see air. Or pain, you can’t see pain?” I asked.“Most people want proof. They try to prove everything. It takes all the mystery away. They don’t understand love. You can only feel love if you choose to. You can’t force love on anyone. They have to want to feel it.” he said.“But I could feel you just as much as I could feel pain; surely they have some kind of machine that can prove that.” I said.“Ah Saul, they would probably say that you were recalling a happy memory.” He gave me such a sad smile. I could see how much love he had to give; we people just break his heart a little every day.He continued speaking “You would not believe the excuses people come up with to explain me away. Mind over matter, mass hypnosis, hysteria, or mental illness to mention but a few.”“But what about the fact that you spoke to me? Can you speak to them?” I felt quite desperate to find a solution to this huge problem.“I speak to everyone, but not everyone hears me. Mostly it’s because they have too many shadows. They focus on the shadows of guilt or shame, of anger and rage or jealousy and lust. But they should be focusing on love, then all the shadows will go away. It’s so easy just to say I’m not going to drag yesterday into today. Leave the past behind and focus on the future.” He smiled at me then.“Don’t look so concerned. Do you know that there are millions who do hear my voice and the more they listen to it the louder it becomes? And you were one of them.” He smiled again; I could see how much joy that brought him.Still, I couldn’t help but think about all the people I had seen that had no shine. They will never know the truth. That’s so hard to digest, I feel scared for them, and I want to help them. And if they won’t believe in all this love does that mean that they also don’t know about the shadows? I mean the shadows that I saw that were making all those disgusting noises, the ones I saw on the way here.
Extract from Down To the TopHe was getting wound up. Speaking too fast. Pacing. His 45 and 9mm were lying on the table in front of us as usual.“And those dumb whores, don’t even get me started on them!”He sucked another huge line. Started agitatedly chopping a few more. Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Sniff… sniff… sniff… sniff.“Just like that stupid bi...ch upstairs! They are all the same. Bunch of whores. She thinks she is something special.”He was referring to his girlfriend upstairs.He picked up his guns. I sat up. I had been chilling. Was in quite a haze myself. But whenever he started waving those guns around, I woke up. I dragged myself out of my haze. Got on alert. The guy was wired and mad. I never really knew if he would pull that trigger.
When he got like this I would go through stages of survival in my mind. I looked at his face. He sure wasn’t so pretty anymore.I don’t know if he was growing his hair and beard or if he just never bothered to shave anymore. Spit was flying out of his mouth while he ranted. The next thing I knew the guy was on his way upstairs. Guns in hand. Sh...t!He started in on his girlfriend. Screaming and thuds followed. I knew he was hitting her. I could hear her crying for help. Man, this motherf...er sure knew how to kill a buzz.
I sat there for a while. F...k! He was Charles! What was I supposed to do now?
I took a bottle and went upstairs. I was hoping to reason with him. But needed a weapon just in case.
I knocked on the door a few times. They were so loud there was no way they could hear me. I opened the door. Her face was all blotchy and red. Her hair was a mess. Some of it was hanging a bit too long, I guess those bits were pulled out at the roots. She looked at me with desperation in her eyes. She actually looked a little funny, like someone had literally dragged her backwards through a bush.Charles turned toward me and aimed. There was absolutely no hesitation in his eyes. My sphincter loosened then tightened. I closed the door again.
Sitting on the couch listening to the domestic violence. I slowly filled my pipe and crushed the white powder…….That’s better…..
Extract from Here, There & Everywhere - the boy who hears the shadows...We were standing at the door of his father’s house and Heinz turned to me, “Are you ready?” he asked. I just nodded.
I wanted to shout at him. NO, I AM NOT READY! WHO COULD EVER BE READY FOR THIS? It’s Sunday man! Sunday’s are for walking on the beach and eating pizza. Sunday is not a day for this. In fact, no day is a day for this!
But of course I just quietly followed him into the house. Behind the front door was a small open area. And a flight of stairs. The walls were dirty white and the paint was peeling off. The stairs were black. Heinz bent down to take his shoes off but then he seemed to change his mind. They obviously didn’t wear shoes in this house. It was like he did it out of habit.
We climbed the stairs to the next door. Behind that door was a fairly large room. It looked like this room was the whole house. At the very back of the room was what looked like a kitchen area. And on the side where we were standing, to the left, were 2 single beds. They were alongside each other but with a small space between them.
The floor was wood. Old, raw wooden planks. It looked like if you did take your shoes off you could get splinters in your feet. At first I didn’t see Heinz’s dad. He was sitting in an old rocking chair. There was a small messy table next to the chair.
“Du bringst einen Fremden in mein Haus?” He asked. His voice was raspy and deep.
Heinz spoke to me in a low voice, “He said I have brought a stranger into his house. He has always refused to speak English.”
“Florian wird jetzt bei mir leben.” Heinz said.
“Ist das richtig?” His father responded.
Heinz spoke in English then, “Paul knows everything”, he indicated towards me.
His father’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Er ist nur ein Kind.” His father said.
“He is the only adult here”, Heinz said.
His father had a lot of self-control. The shadows were everywhere and they were going crazy. I could hear them. “Who does he think he is, get him, get them both, how dare he, HOW DARE HE”, they were all around him. In him, on him, on the chair, all around the room. They were slurping and clapping and dancing. His dad just sat there. Enormous self-control.
“I will get his things”, Heinz said.
Heinz walked behind me toward the bed area. It felt like I was standing all alone with this man. He leaned forward. I almost jumped out of my skin! I almost ran out of that room, down the stairs and into the street! I almost soiled myself!
All he did was take a cigarette. I was terrified. And then I remembered the reason I was here! I concentrated and focused. I filled and flooded myself with the biggest shine I had ever had. In my mind I went to the place where Friend lives. I went there. Where I had been when I died. My skin got warmer and warmer. My chest area felt as if it would explode with hope and love and light. I willed this love onto Heinz’s dad.
The shadows were going mad, screaming and screaming. “Get him out of here”, over and over again, “GET HIM OUT OF HERE.”
His father’s eyes met mine. I knew that all he could see was love and compassion and understanding. He was born with his shadows. He needed help. He was also a victim.
For a split second I saw a glimmer of hope. For that split second I saw him as a little boy, curled up in his bed crying. Crying his little heart out for the world of pain he was living in.
And then the self-control was back. His eyes went cold and dead.
“You are right”, he spoke loudly to Heinz. Heinz stopped packing. He was clearly surprised. His father was speaking English.
“This child is an adult.”
Only once we were back on the street did I feel myself relax. I felt like when I stepped behind that door, I had stepped into a scene of a movie. I had stepped into a war. And I was a warrior fighting in that war. I wore all the armour and all of my instincts were alert and on guard. I felt as if I had drawn my sword and defended my life and the life of others.
It was quite surreal.
“Can we stop at my place?”, Heinz asked.
I nodded. I was still a bit overwhelmed.
Extract from The Years the Locusts Have StolenWe are not robots. I am not a robot. I have deep feelings. Feelings that were getting trampled on over and over again. Maybe I should not have said some of the things I did. But this was way out of proportion. It’s like if a person is very hungry and they say, ‘geez I could kill for some food right now.’ You don’t go and arrest them for being a murderer!But none of it mattered. I had lost my son. I tried. Man, I tried. I went for a visit with the court-appointed councillor. It was an absolute nightmare! Like I was some stranger with permission to see a little boy under supervision. He was my son! My DNA! How is it possible that I am prohibited from seeing him? I don’t understand the world anymore.I had also been to the house to fetch some clothing. The cops supervised that visit. While I was there I asked Annie if I could see Joseph. She said no. She said he was sleeping. I felt my heart fall out of my chest. It landed at her feet. She took a small step forward and stood on it. She smiled at me. The cops told me to hurry up, which I did. And when I left my heart was still under her foot. I left it there.Another time when I realised I needed my alarm clock I asked her to put it in the mailbox. You know, on account of the restraining order. But when I got there the mailbox was empty. She came out with Joseph on her hip. When he saw me he started smiling. I knew he was happy to see me. She allowed me to hold my son for five minutes. She was actually violating her own restraining order. But I didn’t care about anything but the fact that I could hold him. I could kiss him. I could smell his skin. Babies have their own special smell and it’s incredible.When she told me it was time to leave I wept. I drove to the beach and I wept. But there weren’t enough tears in the world to ease my pain. In some ways, it felt like my son had been kidnapped. I mean, of course, I knew that he was safe. But other than that it was the same as if he was kidnapped. I was not allowed to see him. That is its own kind of pain. When it comes to your child, there isn’t another kind of pain that can compare.The trouble is I know I can’t do it. I can’t live in this kind of pain. I can’t see him once a week under supervision. I will never get to kiss him goodnight. It’s such a precious way to end the day. I will never get to watch him sleep. It’s the most incredible sight. Your beautiful child in a peaceful sleep. You get to spend so much time just taking in their features. The eyes and long lashes. The tiny nose and a soft little mouth. I will never get to feed him or change him or bath him again. Those are such special bonding moments. They have all been taken away. I will miss his first words and his first steps. I can’t even think about it. I’m weeping as I write.I know that I cannot do it. So what now? If I leave I have nothing of him. If I stay I might go crazy with the reminder of what I cannot have. I honestly don’t know which is worse.I felt a black mist settle on me. A black mist of depression. Everything had been taken away from me. My joy had been stolen. I had no say. I felt as if I was just here to be hurt. This pain was more than I could bear and I still had my whole suitcase of baggage that I was dragging around with me my entire life. Of course, the bag split open and everything was falling out.
Extract from Here, There & Everywhere - the man who saw the future...The Father asked him why he never went directly to the source. Why he never asked God himself to prove his existence to him? The guy said he couldn’t speak to an imaginary God any more than he could speak to Santa Clause or the tooth fairy.
Then the Father asked him why he spent so much time trying to convince others that God was not real. Why he tried to steal their salvation?
Then I saw the guy having conversation after conversation, social media post after social media post. He was convincing too. He had intelligence, passion and logical reasoning. For something that he didn’t believe was real he sure made a lot of effort!
On earth, he thought he was a good person. He never committed any crimes. He tried to help others when he could. He believed that when he died, he would just disappear. But in the back of his mind he also thought that if somehow life did go on, he deserved to go to a good place.
But here’s the thing. He knew about God. He had read the Bible. His parents took him to church. Yet he decided to deny him. Deny the very being that gave him life in the first place. He arrogantly believed that his life came from nothing. That the miracle of life creating new life, came from nothing. A big bang!
He refused to seek his creator on a personal level.
Then the Father did something quite wonderful. Well, wonderful to me, not so much for that guy.
He gave him knowledge. Knowledge of what life would have been like had he chosen to seek him on a personal level. The moment the guy felt it he began to weep. Tears sliding down his face. This guy now understood that we are given one physical life and one eternal life. He also understood, that given a million physical lives, to live over and over again, he would still always make the same choices.
His eternal spirit was unable and unwilling to join the believers. The second book was opened, and his name was not found.
Then I saw darkness and nothingness. I felt the emptiness of the darkness and nothingness. I don’t know if there was something inside the darkness. I couldn’t see that far. All I knew is that was where this guy was going.
Extract from The Thread That Binds...I just want to take a moment to talk about death. Because back then I did not know what I know now.You see, for us humans, death is so final. Our loved one is gone. Just like that. And we know that they will never ever return. It’s a shock to the system. It’s hard to digest. Just the idea that they will never come back. They are gone. Gone forever. We will continue to live, but we will not share another single moment with them.But since then I have learned not to limit my mind to the carnal. Because God made every single human being with eternity inside of them. There is no end to our existence.Dying means that we have left our earthly home and moved on to our eternal home.I have read multiple books and watched multiple movies and documentaries about people who have had near-death experiences. And do you know there is one thing that they all have in common?None of them wanted to come back!Once they saw heaven, they knew that they were home and they did not want to return to earth.It brings me great comfort knowing that Debs is home. Knowing that in a way, she got there first.Now I know that my girls and I will spend eternity with her.And of course, it’s still hard.My girls do not have a mother. They cried themselves to sleep at night. Morgan believed that Jesus would bring her back from death the same way He brought Lazarus back. It was only after a year that she realized mum was not going to come back. That was when her grieving started.My girls were devastated. And happy dad was having a hard time showing his face. I sat and cried bitter tears with them. We mourned together.But in Paul's letter to the Thessalonians, he says clearly that we do not mourn like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.We grieve but we have hope.We understand that our situation is temporary. That Debs is home, and one day we will go home too.God gives everyone their appointed time on earth. Debs brought Morgan and Ruby into the world at her appointed time. These girls are filled with the Spirit of Jesus. He has a purpose for them.Yes, we have suffered. But God never said there would be no suffering. He did say that the eternal rewards would be more than we could ever dream or think
Extract from Here, There & Everywhere - Trilogy...“What have you got there?” he said and reached out and grabbed my notebook out of my hands.
“It’s nothing.” I said, “Give it back, man.”
He looked down at my work.
“Tom,” he read. “Hey, that’s my old man’s name.”
“I know,” I said.
Then to my dismay, he read my poem out loud.
Tom
I never had a father
So I don’t know what it is to lose one
I never been dying
So I don’t know how that feels
Is it like shadows lurking and lingering in places
Like dark caves filled with black air
Is it like a terrifying nightmare
And you wish you could wake
But you know you can’t; you know it’s too late
Tommy sat down next to me and burst into tears. I didn’t know what to do or say. I put my hand out to touch his back but then I changed my mind and pulled it back again. I can truly understand his need for this but geez man, did he have to break next to me. I really don’t know how to handle this. I wish Patti was here. She would know what to do. I don’t even have a tissue or something. Tommy was able to solve that problem on his own. He took off his sweater and buried his face in it. He just sobbed and sobbed. In the end, I did put my hand on his back. I didn’t rub or pat or anything. I just sat there with my hand on his back. I don’t think I was helping or comforting in any way. Such open expression of sadness scares the hell out of me and I couldn’t tell you why.
After what seemed like hours, Tommy blew his nose on his sweater and lifted his face.
“Well, I guess that volcano finally erupted,” he said. “There’s a lot that goes on inside your head, man. And you are right. It is too late.”
His jaw started to tremble. I thought we were in for another eruption but he took out his tobacco pouch and got busy rolling a Tommy smoke. After he finished smoking he said, “My man Paul, you are a good friend.” And he got up and left me to my ever-improving poetry.
Extract from I Will Walk in FreedomYou see, every man that spends time in prison is innocent. You heard me right. He is innocent. Yes, he committed his crimes. And yes, he is guilty of those crimes. But he is innocent of prison life. By the time you leave, you are guilty of prison life! You are a changed man!
You know the first fight I saw I was okay with it. One-on-one fistfight. I can handle that. But when I saw a part of a man’s face depart from his body because it was removed by a swinging weapon. I felt sick. Sick to the point that I wanted to vomit. But you can’t show weakness. So you control it. You slowly vomit into your mouth and swallow it back down.
I had seen men getting beaten by gangs of men. No one to help them. Getting pulverised until they were just a whimpering lump on the ground. An unrecognisable blob of blood and swelling and bruises struggling to catch just one breath because his ribs were broken.
I had seen men getting stabbed over and over. Screaming in terror and pain. Trying to protect their heads and faces. To no avail. The slashing and stabbing just continued. There is no compassion for the sound of terror in the screams. If anything, it fuels the fire of anger and hatred.
I had seen men like Forty breathe their last breath. I smelled his death. My senses lived death with him.
I had been forced to compromise my sexuality. In a world full of brutal hard men I had experienced every vile thing you can ever imagine. That carried a certain shame, a certain self-loathing.
You become desensitised to all of it. You stop wanting to vomit when you see body parts being obliterated. You don’t care when another man is screaming in pain because he is getting stabbed or pinned down and raped. You just don’t care. The only thing you feel is gratitude that it’s not you. This brutality is a daily thing. It’s not rare. It’s not unusual.
In prison, there is like a social pressure to be violent. Violence earns you respect. These men have nothing but time. And they are bored. So each day is filled with… I almost want to say filled with pettiness. Because one man looks at another man in a wrong way and it’s the end of his world.
“I saw how he looked at me. Who does he think he is? Does he know who I am? What I am capable of?”
Everything is about cars (gangs) and power and respect. It’s a coping mechanism. It’s a reason to get up every day. Ultimately you become part of it. You don’t have a choice. If you have no car, you are a walking target for everyone. Get in a car and you have to abide by the rules. If you don’t your own car will beat or kill you. No one has a choice in prison. You have to play by the rules of the game. If you don't you die. It’s as simple as that.
So yeah, I was walking out of this prison knowing that I could turn a deaf ear to the terror-filled screams of a dying man. I was walking out of this prison knowing that I could step over a corpse and go and get a cup of coffee. As if it were a piece of trash lying on the ground. I was walking out of this prison knowing that my intimate body had been compromised by this system of brutality.
Memories were creeping out of my eyes and rolling down my face.
Yes, now I am a guilty man. Guilty of prison life. And somehow when you are behind bars, it’s okay. Because it’s the same for everyone there. But you walk out of those doors and you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
In the free world, people don’t step over dead bodies without falling apart. In the free world, people are traumatised by brutality and violence. In the free world, people can barely process the visual impact of a bad car accident.
And that is where I was fixing to go. Into the free world.
I didn't want to be in prison anymore. I had enough of prison life. I had seen and lived more than I ever wanted to. But at the same time, I did not know how to live in the free world. To live in the opposite end of this. Sometimes I think it would have been better if I had the courage to take my own life that night in the bathtub. The night of the stand-off. I would have been spared all of this.
When I walked out of prison for the last time, I felt like a distorted photograph. Obscured to the point of being unrecognisable.
Extract from Convinced...Have you ever noticed that when people see a car wreck ahead they almost always slow down to get a closer look? It’s like somewhere inside of us there is this morbid sense of curiosity. A strange unexplained desire to look at the bleeding dying people. I’m sure some people even feel guilty about it afterwards. Wondering why they would want to look at something like that. Wondering if there is something wrong with them.The truth is there is nothing wrong with it. Bar mental illness, nobody wants to die. So we feel the need to look because it reminds us of the value of life and how quickly it can end. It is morbid, but our curiosity stems from the fact that we think it’s always going to happen to someone else. We feel safe looking at such things. If your loved one were lying there you wouldn’t want to look. The fact that they are strangers seems to make it okay. It’s almost like watching the news on the television.Every time I meet a person that was institutionalised as a child. Or one who grew up in multiple foster homes. My first thought is ‘I wonder if they were sexually abused.’ I’m sure most people think that very same thing. There certainly are enough movies made about that sordid subject. It’s the car wreck slow down drive by. People want to know. It’s just the way it is.So was I sexually abused?The answer is yes, yes I was. The car wreck slow down drive by is that I would lie in bed at night staring at the sliver of light coming from under the closed door. Wishing and hoping that the dreaded shadow would not appear.When the shadow did appear I would screw my eyes closed as tightly as possible. I would bury myself in the blankets, thinking, wishing that he just wouldn’t see me. But he always saw me, no matter how tightly I screwed my eyes closed. No matter how deep I buried myself in those blankets. He always saw me. Then I would feel his cold, dirty paedophile hands creeping onto my body.That is the car wreck slow-down drive-by version of events. Nobody gets every detail on a drive-by like that. I know it may seem that I’m being blasé. It’s a defence mechanism.Too many details are too much to bear. It doesn’t hurt the man I am now, but it makes my heart bleed for that child. The child I used to be.
Extract from Where Darkness isn't Dark...My phone alerted me of a message. It’s quite late, I don’t usually get messages at this time of night.
It was from Josephine. It was an image of two loaves of bread carved into slippers. The caption said ‘Loafers’
Then she messaged again.
Josephine: This joke will eventually become stale.
Me: It’s crummy anyway.
Josephine: Well, they are only for the inbred, not the upper crust.
Me: 😊 😊 You’re on a roll.
Josephine: At yeast I’m trying.
Me: You certainly are rising to the occasion.
Josephine: Do you know the guy from the bar across the road offered me a job? But I think he likes me. He is a bit creepy.
Me: Ciabatta say no, you want naan of that 😊
Josephine: Wahahahahahhahahahahhahahahah
Me: Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
Josephine: I’m actually on my way out. I have to go and turn down the job offer.
Me: Well don’t focaccia bag. You might need it 😊
Josephine: 😊 xxx
I was still smiling when I fell asleep. I needed that. Something light-hearted. I guess she was trying to tell me everything is good between us. I’m glad about that, I really like her.
Extract from God's Ice-Cream...Let’s talk about God for a bit. Just because He is so awesome! Life changes for every person when we include our Creator in our lives. I mean I don’t know how I lived for so many years without Him in my life. And I don’t know how people manage without Him.
Especially in a time like this. Although I guess some people are saying, ‘Where is your God now?’
I get it. This isn’t exactly a small thing. I was praying for things that weren’t even going to happen. Work stuff. But even while I was praying God knew it wasn’t going to happen. That’s wild if you think about it. But it really shows us that nothing is ever certain. Nothing is guaranteed. The only certain thing we have in our life is God and His Word.
It’s almost like James 4 came to life.
Because it says that we should never make plans for our future on our own, we should always say ‘God willing.’ I doubt there is a person on this planet that didn’t have some or other plans they had to cancel because of this virus.
The truth is that the earth is healing. We were so busy destroying it with our greed. Pollution, global warming, destroying forests and using all the natural resources. Imposing on the natural habitat of so many beautiful animals so that one by one they are becoming endangered or extinct. Emptying all our sewage and trash into the ocean so the sea life dies.
Yes, the Lord gave us a beautiful planet. But man stopped caring about the beauty and started focusing on the economy. Money, power, greed. The poor got poorer and the rich got richer. From God’s point of view, it must be devastating.
Jesus wept!
I really believe that He does. We know from His Word that He is the same yesterday today and forever. If He wept in the Bible He can weep now.
It makes you wonder how many people are left in the world that really want the same things He does. That want to share and look out for each other. That want to have values and morals and integrity.
Satan truly is the ruler of this world.
Yet Jesus tells us that He overcame Satan. And all we have to do is believe in Him. But it’s almost like everyone wants a distant deity that they can call out to in times of trouble. And in the interim, just do exactly as they please.
After the fall of Adam and Eve, God knew we had no possible chance of being righteous or holy. Which is why Jesus came. To pay the price for our sins. And what a price He paid. We have no idea. We think we do. But we don’t. We watch movies like ‘The Passion’ and we weep bitterly for Jesus. But then we get up and go back to our sin.
If we understood what Jesus really did, we would be doing so much more to please our Creator. We would make every effort to die to self on a daily basis. Not just every now and then when it’s convenient for us.
But God knew that too. And He covered for us. His love and amazing grace covered for us. So after the blood of Jesus washed us clean of every sin we are ever going to commit. God said, I no longer see your sin. I look at your heart. I will look at the intentions of your heart. I will look at the effort you make on my behalf.
He gave us a huge break. I mean, you just have to go and look at some of the punishments for sin in the Old Testament. Imagine how many people would have been stoned to death for committing adultery? I bet they are all very happy to be living in the New Testament times.
Extract from Living in the Unseen World...Satan will use your spouse, your children your income, your family and friends and anything he can think of to harm you. His primary focus is to stop you from doing anything for the Kingdom of God. He will try to fill your life with pain, trouble and distraction so that you think you have no time or desire to spend time with God. Because if you don’t spend time with God, there is little to no chance that you will hear the still soft voice of the Holy Spirit trying to lead and guide you.
His tactics are simple. And in this simplicity lies the very reason he is so successful. He uses logic and reasoning. What he encourages us to do makes sense to us. And the more sense it makes, the more we are inclined to take action.
…your wife is always nagging…the Bible says it’s better to live alone in an attic than with a nagging woman…your marriage is stale and boring…there is no way it’s going to get better…it’s only going to get worse…you are only staying together for the sake of the kids anyway… you are at your prime…before you know it you will be an old man…indulge yourself with some joy before you are too old…look at that lovely lady at work who is always smiling at you…she looks like she would stop at nothing to please you…go and enjoy some good company for a while…and while you are at it…tell your wife that you are sick of her nagging…even the Bible says you are better off without her…
Do you see the logic and reasoning? Even the use of scripture? Your enemy knows the Word of God. In fact, he knows the Word better than most believers do. He is much more convincing when he uses the Word to tempt you. And of course, the flesh wants nothing more than to do exactly what that temptation offered. The enemy always appeals to the flesh. Short-lived pleasures with long-term consequences.
On the other side of the coin, this guy's wife isn’t nagging. She is constantly trying to encourage her husband to obey the Word of God. She knows deep down inside, that if her husband does that, their marriage would be wonderful. But this guy is so strongly influenced by the enemy. Such a huge part of him is desperate for the fleshly pleasures of this world, that his wife irritates him. His marriage and happiness are doomed if he continues the path he is on, he needs to change direction. Or he will be lost.
Now that is an obvious example. Adultery is rife these days. It didn’t have to be a guy, it could just as well have been a woman. The distractions of the enemy come in many forms. Constantly worrying. How am I going to pay all of these bills? I skipped that one last month, and I can’t skip it this month. But I have skipped so many and I just don’t have enough to pay them all! Nothing ever changes. How is this going to change? How can God help me? He can’t help me. I’m on my own in this. I have so many debts.
Extract from Yellow Banana...My parents are splitting up. Mum is leaving dad.
I don't know why, but I think it's my fault.
Which makes me really sad.
On top of that, there is a bully in my school.
I think he is a big fat stinker
but he thinks he is really cool.
I am lucky that I have Johnny.
My very bestest friend.
So I guess everything
will work out in the end.
Extract from Bronsky the Bat..."Behave! Behave!" the little birds cried.
"If you don't behave you'll be sent to the deep dark cave."
What's in the cave so dark and deep?
Is it a monster that Bronsky will meet... ?
A troll? A fairy? Or a scary spook?
To find out, you´ll have to read the book.